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Keluarkan Receh Kalian, Lucu Ga Lucu penting Receh
- Thread starter KucingGuguk
- Start date
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
Undangan Salah Cetak
Rabi kurang sedino, Ida nangis mbengok-mbengok, marai bapak-ibuke bingung gak karuan.
Bapak : "Ndhuk, menengo Ndhuk, ngelu ndhasku ngrungokne kowe nangis bengok-bengok??!!"
Ibu : "Kowe ki kenek opo to Ndhuk, sesuk rabi kok malah mbengok-mbengok nangismu, la kowe lak rabi karo pacar pilihanmu dhewe, kudune rak seneng to!!"
Ida : "Sampeyan ndelok to Bu, sampeyan woco undangan nikahku, mosok tulisane:
TURUT MENUNGGANG :
1. Pak Camat dan jajarannya,
2. Pak Lurah dan jajarannya,
3. Pak RW dan jajarannya,
4. Pak RT dan jajarannya,
Bu, aku gak kuaaaaaat..., lak ruuweemuk tenan awakku.. Aluwung dibatalke wae rabiku timbang remoook awakku.."
Rabi kurang sedino, Ida nangis mbengok-mbengok, marai bapak-ibuke bingung gak karuan.
Bapak : "Ndhuk, menengo Ndhuk, ngelu ndhasku ngrungokne kowe nangis bengok-bengok??!!"
Ibu : "Kowe ki kenek opo to Ndhuk, sesuk rabi kok malah mbengok-mbengok nangismu, la kowe lak rabi karo pacar pilihanmu dhewe, kudune rak seneng to!!"
Ida : "Sampeyan ndelok to Bu, sampeyan woco undangan nikahku, mosok tulisane:
TURUT MENUNGGANG :
1. Pak Camat dan jajarannya,
2. Pak Lurah dan jajarannya,
3. Pak RW dan jajarannya,
4. Pak RT dan jajarannya,
Bu, aku gak kuaaaaaat..., lak ruuweemuk tenan awakku.. Aluwung dibatalke wae rabiku timbang remoook awakku.."
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
si mbaknya kayaknya .. geli ...
Mamang Oding
Suhu Semprot
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- 22 Apr 2014
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Sepasang suami isteri yg sudah sangat sepuh tengah makan bubur ayam, sang isteri begitu syahdu menatap suaminya menyantap bubur ayam, sementara dianya sendiri tidak makan bubur yang terhidang di depannya. Seorang pemuda yang terpesona melihat keromantisan pasangan itu menghampiri pasangan sepuh ini.
" Ibu, maaf, ibu sangat sayang rupanya sama Bapak ?"
" Iyaa, Nak ... kami senantiasa saling memperhatikan saat makan "
" Betapa Ibu perhatian sama Bapak sampai-sampai ibu gak makan sebelum Bapak selesai "
Bapak sepuh itu kemudian menjawab
" Ibu belum makan itu bukan sayang sama saya tapi nunggu gigi palsu yang sedang saya pakai ...... kami gantian ! "
" Ibu, maaf, ibu sangat sayang rupanya sama Bapak ?"
" Iyaa, Nak ... kami senantiasa saling memperhatikan saat makan "
" Betapa Ibu perhatian sama Bapak sampai-sampai ibu gak makan sebelum Bapak selesai "
Bapak sepuh itu kemudian menjawab
" Ibu belum makan itu bukan sayang sama saya tapi nunggu gigi palsu yang sedang saya pakai ...... kami gantian ! "
Mamang Oding
Suhu Semprot
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Samin teh tukang daging nu sok ngider mapay lembur.
Hiji mangsa basa manehna keur dagang digeroan ku Haji Apur : "Min, isuk pang mawakeun jeroan nya !" tuluy ku Samin disanggupan.
Isukna, wanci haneut moyan, Haji Apur keur numpakan pamajikanna .... meni panas suasana dikamar, hah heh hoh ....
Samin ngagorowok ti luar "Pak Haji ..... Jeroan"
Kadenge di jero kamar sora si Haji ...... "Eukeeeuuuuurrrr !!!!"
Hiji mangsa basa manehna keur dagang digeroan ku Haji Apur : "Min, isuk pang mawakeun jeroan nya !" tuluy ku Samin disanggupan.
Isukna, wanci haneut moyan, Haji Apur keur numpakan pamajikanna .... meni panas suasana dikamar, hah heh hoh ....
Samin ngagorowok ti luar "Pak Haji ..... Jeroan"
Kadenge di jero kamar sora si Haji ...... "Eukeeeuuuuurrrr !!!!"
PencariKenikmatanWanita
Adik Semprot
Pernahkah kalian mendengar atau menyanyikan lagu "pok ame - ame" ?
sedikti nubie kasih lyricnya
Pok ame ame belalang kupu-kupu..
siang makan nasi kalo malam minum susu
Hingga saat ini nubie masih berpikir sejak kapan belalang kupu-kupu makan nasi dan minum susu
maap kalo garing
sedikti nubie kasih lyricnya
Pok ame ame belalang kupu-kupu..
siang makan nasi kalo malam minum susu
Hingga saat ini nubie masih berpikir sejak kapan belalang kupu-kupu makan nasi dan minum susu
maap kalo garing
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
Robot Pelayan Restoran Neng Jepang
Seminggu neng Jepang Pakdhe karo Budhe akhire nemu restoran masakan Indonesia. Pelayane Robot. Robot teko nyedaki Pakdhe, trus ngomong:
"What is your nationality?", robot takon.
"Indonesia" jare Pakdhe.
"Selamat datang", jare robot nganggo bahasa Indonesia.
"Apa bahasa suku Anda?", robot takon meneh.
"Jawa", jare Pakdhe
"Sugeng siang. Badhé pesen nopo?" Jare robot nganggo boso jowo.
"Canggih yo bu?", Pakdhe ngomong karo Budhe.
Budhe : "Ono lotek?", ibune takon karo robot.
Robot : "Ono."
Budhe : "Pesen rong porsi."
Robot: "Porsi gedhe opo cilik?"
Budhe : "Porsi gedhe."
Robot : "Lomboke piro?"
Budhe : "Sing siji loro, sing siji sepuluh."
Robot : "Nganggo kangkung?"
Budhe : "Yo."
Robot : "Nganggo timun?"
Budhe : "Yo."
Robot : "Nganggo kol?"
Budhe : "Yo."
Robot : "Nganggo kol jowo opo kol asli Jepang?"
Pakdhe : "Sing endi wae lah manut!", Pakdhe wiwit rodo nesu.
Robot : "Kacange diuleg opo diblender?"
Pakdhe : "Kuarepmu!"
Robot : "Kacange setengah mateng opo mateng?"
Pakdhe : "Goréng sing gariiiiiiing..!!"
Robot : "Nganggo bawang goreng rak?"
Pakdhe : "Nganggo..., asu!" Pakdhe misuh banter banget.
Robot : "Dipiring opo dipincuk?"
Pakdhe : "Dipiring !"
Robot : "Lengone nganggo margarin opo minyak kelapa?"
Pakdhe : "Jelantah... wedhus!! !" Nesu banget soale wis sepuluh menit dhewe.
Robot meneng, lampune byar pet kelap kelip kayane lagi diproses. Kiro-kiro telung menitan robot'é ngomong meneh:
Robot : "Maturnuwun. Pesenan tak tompo. Mung rak iso di suguhake..."
Pakdhe : "Nopo? Aku wis ngenteni suwe banget, tanya-jawab karo kowe, kok rak iso nopo to ndes?", jare Pakdhe emosi.
Robot : "Soale durung ono asune karo wedhuse..."
Pakdhe : "Diancuuuk...Iso edan aku! Ayo bu lungo, rak usah nguntal neng kene !!!", Pakdhe nggondhok...
Seminggu neng Jepang Pakdhe karo Budhe akhire nemu restoran masakan Indonesia. Pelayane Robot. Robot teko nyedaki Pakdhe, trus ngomong:
"What is your nationality?", robot takon.
"Indonesia" jare Pakdhe.
"Selamat datang", jare robot nganggo bahasa Indonesia.
"Apa bahasa suku Anda?", robot takon meneh.
"Jawa", jare Pakdhe
"Sugeng siang. Badhé pesen nopo?" Jare robot nganggo boso jowo.
"Canggih yo bu?", Pakdhe ngomong karo Budhe.
Budhe : "Ono lotek?", ibune takon karo robot.
Robot : "Ono."
Budhe : "Pesen rong porsi."
Robot: "Porsi gedhe opo cilik?"
Budhe : "Porsi gedhe."
Robot : "Lomboke piro?"
Budhe : "Sing siji loro, sing siji sepuluh."
Robot : "Nganggo kangkung?"
Budhe : "Yo."
Robot : "Nganggo timun?"
Budhe : "Yo."
Robot : "Nganggo kol?"
Budhe : "Yo."
Robot : "Nganggo kol jowo opo kol asli Jepang?"
Pakdhe : "Sing endi wae lah manut!", Pakdhe wiwit rodo nesu.
Robot : "Kacange diuleg opo diblender?"
Pakdhe : "Kuarepmu!"
Robot : "Kacange setengah mateng opo mateng?"
Pakdhe : "Goréng sing gariiiiiiing..!!"
Robot : "Nganggo bawang goreng rak?"
Pakdhe : "Nganggo..., asu!" Pakdhe misuh banter banget.
Robot : "Dipiring opo dipincuk?"
Pakdhe : "Dipiring !"
Robot : "Lengone nganggo margarin opo minyak kelapa?"
Pakdhe : "Jelantah... wedhus!! !" Nesu banget soale wis sepuluh menit dhewe.
Robot meneng, lampune byar pet kelap kelip kayane lagi diproses. Kiro-kiro telung menitan robot'é ngomong meneh:
Robot : "Maturnuwun. Pesenan tak tompo. Mung rak iso di suguhake..."
Pakdhe : "Nopo? Aku wis ngenteni suwe banget, tanya-jawab karo kowe, kok rak iso nopo to ndes?", jare Pakdhe emosi.
Robot : "Soale durung ono asune karo wedhuse..."
Pakdhe : "Diancuuuk...Iso edan aku! Ayo bu lungo, rak usah nguntal neng kene !!!", Pakdhe nggondhok...
penjagahati
Semprot Baru
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Semporfi
Tukang Semprot
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Macam makan kuda,
Taik nya lo yg makan
Salut hu, BENER.......
pengalaman suhu sungguh menakjupkan
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
Basa Jawa Luwih Efisien Tinimbang Basa Inggris
Walk slowly on the edge (side) of the road (mlipir)
Fall backward and then hit own head (nggeblak)
Got hit by a truck that is moving backward (kunduran trek)
Smearing one's body with hot ointment or liquid and then massaging it (mblonyo)
Taking the longer way to get to the destination (ngalang)
Riding an old bicycle (ngonthel)
Falling/ tripping forward (and may hit own face) (kejlungup)
Side effect after circumcision (gendhelen)
Hot pyroclastic cloud rolling down a volcano (wedhus gembel)
A small, sharp thing embedded inside one's skin (susuben/ketlusupen)
Feeling uncomfortable because there is something that smells bad (kambon)
Things getting out from a container accidentally because of gravity (mbrojol)
Get hit by thing collapsing on top of one's head/body (kambrukan/kembrukan)
Drinking straight from the bottle without using glass, where whole bottle tip gets into the mouth (ngokop)
Cannot open eyes because something is shining very bright (blereng)
Cannot hold bowel movement (ngebrok)
Something coming out from one's rear end little by little (keceret/kecirit)
Hanging on tightly to something in order to be inert (gondhelan)
Falling/ tripping accidentally because of a hole (kejeglong)
Doing something without thinking about the consequences (cenanangan)
Being overly active carelessly (pecicilan)
Feeling unwell because of cold temperature (katisen)
Making too much noise, disturbing other people (mbribeni)
Tripping over accidentally caused by wires, cloths, gowns etc. (kesrimpet)
Walk slowly on the edge (side) of the road (mlipir)
Fall backward and then hit own head (nggeblak)
Got hit by a truck that is moving backward (kunduran trek)
Smearing one's body with hot ointment or liquid and then massaging it (mblonyo)
Taking the longer way to get to the destination (ngalang)
Riding an old bicycle (ngonthel)
Falling/ tripping forward (and may hit own face) (kejlungup)
Side effect after circumcision (gendhelen)
Hot pyroclastic cloud rolling down a volcano (wedhus gembel)
A small, sharp thing embedded inside one's skin (susuben/ketlusupen)
Feeling uncomfortable because there is something that smells bad (kambon)
Things getting out from a container accidentally because of gravity (mbrojol)
Get hit by thing collapsing on top of one's head/body (kambrukan/kembrukan)
Drinking straight from the bottle without using glass, where whole bottle tip gets into the mouth (ngokop)
Cannot open eyes because something is shining very bright (blereng)
Cannot hold bowel movement (ngebrok)
Something coming out from one's rear end little by little (keceret/kecirit)
Hanging on tightly to something in order to be inert (gondhelan)
Falling/ tripping accidentally because of a hole (kejeglong)
Doing something without thinking about the consequences (cenanangan)
Being overly active carelessly (pecicilan)
Feeling unwell because of cold temperature (katisen)
Making too much noise, disturbing other people (mbribeni)
Tripping over accidentally caused by wires, cloths, gowns etc. (kesrimpet)
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
Sabet Manuke
Ono bule numpak andhong nang Yogya barengan karo wong Jowo sing dadi guide. Pas neng dalan, Ndilalah jarane mogok lan ndeprok.
Guide sing wis pengalaman numpak andhong mbengok ngabani kusir : "Pak! sabet manuke... sabet manuke..."
Kusire trus nyabet manuke jaran, langsung jaran ngadeg lan mlayu meneh. Liyo dino si bule numpak meneh mung bedo andhonge, dhewean ra nganggo guide. Ndilalah nang tengah dalan jarane mogok lan ndeprok meneh.
Si bule keminter, sok tahu, bengok bengok ngabani kusir: "Pak! sabet manuke! sabet manuke!"
Kusire mung meneng wae. Si bule tambah bengok-bengok : "Sabet manuke! sabet manuke!"
Kusir andhong nesu: "SABET MANUKE, SABET MANUKE... SABET MANUKMU DHEWE KUWI... JARANKU KI JARAN WEDOK, NDHUL!!!!"
Ono bule numpak andhong nang Yogya barengan karo wong Jowo sing dadi guide. Pas neng dalan, Ndilalah jarane mogok lan ndeprok.
Guide sing wis pengalaman numpak andhong mbengok ngabani kusir : "Pak! sabet manuke... sabet manuke..."
Kusire trus nyabet manuke jaran, langsung jaran ngadeg lan mlayu meneh. Liyo dino si bule numpak meneh mung bedo andhonge, dhewean ra nganggo guide. Ndilalah nang tengah dalan jarane mogok lan ndeprok meneh.
Si bule keminter, sok tahu, bengok bengok ngabani kusir: "Pak! sabet manuke! sabet manuke!"
Kusire mung meneng wae. Si bule tambah bengok-bengok : "Sabet manuke! sabet manuke!"
Kusir andhong nesu: "SABET MANUKE, SABET MANUKE... SABET MANUKMU DHEWE KUWI... JARANKU KI JARAN WEDOK, NDHUL!!!!"
Mamang Oding
Suhu Semprot
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- 22 Apr 2014
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Robot Cerdas
Baru judul doank, neng uda pengen ngikik ini mang
manaaaa ceritanya mang oding wkwk ..penjagahati
Semprot Baru
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- 5 Sep 2017
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Jadi cerita nya nemu tai kuda dijalan, kita bagi dua ya, gmana?Salut hu, BENER.......
pengalaman suhu sungguh menakjupkan
Mas Genjrot
Semprot Lover
User di-banned, maka konten otomatis dihapus.
User is banned, content is deleted automatically.
User is banned, content is deleted automatically.
Mamang Oding
Suhu Semprot
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- 22 Apr 2014
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Jojoonathan
Pertapa Semprot
..
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